sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
