A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
