Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize