i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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