Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
