I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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