bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I am midnight drunk by noon
So gin and wine won't be happening again
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
