while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
