Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i dont even know how to be here
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
