he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
