wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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