Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
