its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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