You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
