so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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