My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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