I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
