Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
