Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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