on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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