This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
