You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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