I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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