He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
