My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
