Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
