PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
