so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
