do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It was confusing and full of hummus
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
