awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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