I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
