Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
