it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
there was a trapeze. enough said
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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