you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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