I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She bit a glass in half.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
