Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
