he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
