Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
