I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
