I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
