So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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