I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
