i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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