I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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