I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I can't turn off my feet"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
