So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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