I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
