Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
