i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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