I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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