Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
