I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
