after a month anything with tits is on the radar
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
