I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
