Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
