Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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