Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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